I HAD KILLED SOMEONE.

I HAD KILLED SOMEONE.
Monday,
2255 hours,
room.

I HAD KILLED SOMEONE. That's the title of this blog. What a day. Honestly, I can't have enough fun when I felt like somebody is avoiding me. For what I don't even know. Can I or Can't I get over it? The answer that I am hoping is CAN but, it would be a bit difficult when I am thinking about it every time. I, myself can't even distract my own mind to other things. When it comes to feelings I always gets gloomy and boring I cant enjoy myself! and I killed someone and that is myself. If I cant even enjoy myself I have to killed somebody right? My feelings is just not stable right now and I need medication or maybe people to appreciate me. What I had found the other day was, ' A Woman's HEART CAN'T BE HEALED, UNLESS THE WOMAN ITSELF HELP TO HEAL IT '. For me the things can heal my heart is,

a) something you can't see it but you can feel it
b) something soft bittersweet dark eaten able
c) something that colour full with cream
d) something that universal and express able
e) something that is cold and freezing
or just maybe Myself.

My point is I cant stand on my own feet though I had cried on to your shoulder or climb the highest mountain but I still cant until You are there for me, standing and waiting at the end of the race.

I never been with somebody, so I don't know how to act. But when I see my friends enjoying their Love life, what they said is Good and Relieve because they felt like there is someone who cares about you(me). But for my opinion, isn't that something distract our minds from chasing our dream?? I am a student that wanted to go to United Kingdom so bad and study there and have a happy life and grateful to achieved EXCELLENT ACHIEVEMENTS and I am the want who wanted my parent to be happy when they land at Heathrow Airport and said, ' I'm attending to my daughter's Convocation" that is why I don't care much about it or just don't want to lose everything. Yeah. I got it now , I'm the person who hate Losing Everything what is Mine. If i have something I will take care of it even it is can't be seen. I think I already know whats the answer for my question why I hate to be in Love, I hate it because I hate losing everything and I'm a person who is like to be jealous of almost everything. and I am scared whether can I find one? or just be a single woman till I am OLD! I am scared that once I'm in college I cant find one to trust because I'm like the thinnest glass had ever made. So, in this case I got the answer and I hope when you read it you will understand because I'm unpredictable especially in this particular topic.

To CLOFY,
I hope I'm not disappointing you because you always ask me why about it and I hope this blog made you realize why I have been avoiding it.

THANK YOU.

MUSIC.

MUSIC.
study room.
Monday,0110 hours.

I am trying to exposed myself with music. What I want to precise on it is the type, but MUSIC is to universal. It is too big! So I decided to blog this out about the songs that made me feel good, sad, happy, very happy or even very sad. The songs that made me remember all of the memories I had made. For now I can't list all the songs that express my feelings. But there are few of them.

1. Graduation, Vitamin C- graduation 2009
2. True, Ryan Cabrera - primary 4,5?
3. Songs from WESTLIFE- reminds me of being with Family.
4. Unbreakable, Westlife - goodbye from WMian's.
5. Kenangan Lagenda, Wangsa Melawati's Choir Group - 3rd place
6. Listen to The Rain, evanescence - first time choir [SAMURA]
7. Sayonara , batch 26 - Malam Rasa Sayang
8. Empty Decorations, Minggu Merdeka - Dewan Bestari , Wangsa Melawati
9. Songs from GLEE - first episode till now.
10. Crazy love, Michael Buble - Abdullah's offer.

The first list that I made. Lots more to think, but this is the first. I am in LOVE with Music. My taste more to 90's , 80's. On my opinion, today's music not as Good as old school kick it. Today's more to social style. Video music like more too underage video. Bad influence to me. A good music is a music with good background instrument and nice sound includes nice lyrics, So that people can understand the music. But, who cares now?

THANK YOU.

AMBITIONS.

AMBITIONS.

study room.

Sunday,0020 hours.

my list of ambition>

1. DOCTOR

2. PHARMACIST

3. TEACHER

4. MUSICIAN

5. CHEF

6. TRAVELLER

7. FASHION DESIGNER.

All of the above are my ambitions.

I was once want to be a DOCTOR.But because there are 2 incident made me realize that I can't be one. Pitty me , but still if that's the fact that I need to face. I will faced it. So, it started on a normal Saturday morning. I want to make a lovely tuna sandwich, I took a tomato and started to chop it, suddenly and accidentally I chopped a small cut to my left finger. It was so small but the pain is extreme. I was mad at myself without any reason. Then I went upstairs and talk to my mother that my finger is hurt, she said go and put medicine on it. I asked where would I find one? She said go to your grandmother's house [next to my house]. So, on my way to my grandma's house I started to feel weak and weaker. I also didn't realize what was happening to me. I met my aunt and ask her where did maktok store her 'ubat-ubat' . Then she replied upstairs [by her face she looked at me like she saw a ghost but didn't ask me how was I that time]. So I climb up the stairs, I forced myself because I know that I need that medicine. When I reached in the room, I scream slowly like a crazy girl questioning where's the medicine. A few minutes later I found it and straight to my mother's room. My MOM look at me speechless!! My face was so pale. She asked what happened? I also don't even know what happen to me...I lay down. My face started sweating and drink a hot MILO, then it went fine. Fuuhh..that was a relief.

F.Y.I.> on my way to climb the I can't even see the stairs fully. My left eye was blank with tiny white squares which is the first experience that I had experienced..=).

isnt this a great way to tell my story?

I think it is YES!

NOW I want to be a PHARMACIST . But the problem is I didn't know much about it. I am now trying to find something about it. The first thing was >

1. The School of Pharmacy, London [woohhoooo]

2. King's Colledge , [United Kingdom]

The Second thing>

Pharmacy Department...

There are lots of it!

• 4.1 Community pharmacy
• 4.2 Hospital pharmacy
• 4.3 Clinical pharmacy
• 4.4 Compounding pharmacy
• 4.5 Consultant pharmacy
• 4.6 Internet pharmacy
• 4.7 Veterinary pharmacy
• 4.8 Nuclear pharmacy

• 4.9 Military pharmacy
• 4.10 Pharmacy informatics

and there are more...

To the rest of my ambition..I will try to continue to the next blog.

THANK YOU.

BEEN BUSY.

BEEN BUSY.

study room.

20 November 2010

0007 hours.

Assalamualaikum.

I had been busy all along.could not type my blog always.the bestari room always packed!Its been a year being form 4,and few weeks more I will be a SENIOR..omg!cant believe it. i felt like it was just yesterday i registered to SAMURA and now I'm at home listening to music and type this blog.

FIRST HISTORY.

it was night.not just a night. the last night with my fellow senior.ASPURI was so busy with every body's business and i felt like i was in the market.which not literally.i was suppose to keep the PUTRIMART busy..but that night pakcik did not send any food soooo...me and CLOFY decided to go back to our dorm..suddenly a friend ask both of us which one of you is YASMEEN!hehe then i said ME?she said that ' kak Nina nak jumpa' so OK!i know its about choir.then when i reached to kak nina's dorm she said 'soo awak lah dapat jawatan tu' then it strikes me ..JAWATAN! which i just remember.sloowww mind i got here. i was so amazed and HAPPY!the best part was CERDIK legacy holds the CAPTAIN of Voice Of Soul since batch 26.heehe..then we took some pictures and i went back to my dorm.a few minutes later my senior kak Aisha..[choir member] saw i was holding the book [VOS book] she straight away said CONGRATULATIONS!i was so happy that moment.

THANK YOU SENIOR VOICE for giving me faith in me to conduct VOS batch 28 and 29 !

SECOND HISTORY.

in my dorm. after al-mulk, time for the position of Ketua Dorm and Pen. Ket. Dorm. Scary..at my first thought was , that i was gonna get AJK Kebersihan or AJK Keceriaan. then after my name still have not been say yet..till the last two position KD and PKD ..at that time it was only me and my beloved bed mate CLOFY. then my KD kak ami, hand the position full with protocol

Saya Nur Hidayah binti Tarmizi, Ketua Dorm 2010 menyerahkan kuasa kepada Yasmeen binti Zailan.

I was thrilled to hear the words spreading out form kak ami's mouth.it was like death sentence. then i said it back..>

Saya Yasmeen binti Zailan menerima jawatan Ketua Dorm tahun 2011.

sort of like that.it was fun..

then we shakes hand hugs and kisses and took lots of picture as for good memories..

we were crying because it was really sad,sad to see we need to move on without them guiding as no more.

THIRD HISTORY.

the last day with senior.this one is simple.i packed my bags. wait for my dad to arrive.as he arrived. i put a note under my pet sis pillow, and go down to musolla..shake hands for the last time with KAK LIA.[FIQA ALIA binti DAINURE].i cried..which the symbol of missing her so much...

LAST HISTORY.

excuse me for the Grammar error..not that good in English.the conclusion is i miss my SENIOR. through happiness and sad you guys are my SENIOR and my first SISTER.

I would like to post this out,

GOOD LUCK and ALL THE BEST for SPM 2010!

make sure you guys can get 0.39!

and I want to see your faces on MAC!

THE END.

Samura's memory.

Samura's memory.
Wednesday, 21 July 2010.
1050 am.
Bilik Bestari 2 [SAMURA].

In bilik best, surfing internet. Nothing unusual. 2 WEEKS more before the next test. Today there will be Sports Day. All of the students will be going back to their own dormitory around 12.15 pm. This blog doesn't meant anything. The only purpose is to update it, because it was such a long time i haven't touch the keyboard for this blog. I missed my family and friends. Hope this Raya i could spend lots of fun with lots of people. Open HOUSE!! definitely. My result for Mid year examination was not okay. But, i tried my best. For this coming test I will try my best again but harder after my busy day settled which i never doubt that it will. Last night was a heartbroken for Sargent house for losing the title champion for English Language Society Week. The winner goes to Bestari house. But what I'm happy about is Sargent got number 2 for choral speaking. But overall its OKAY! thank you2. I think that's all for now. I will try to update it more frequently if I'm not to busy. Bye. Salam.

"DATE" at the MOVIE.

"DATE" at the MOVIE.
Wednesday, 17 March 2010.
1200 hours.
Kuala Lumpur City Centre.

The "DATE" wasn't a real 'date'.I purposely stated that because 'someone' wants it to be published.Abdullah [dolah] and I discuss when and how are we going to make this 'date' a success.First, he invited me atikah and izyan. but, unfortunately atikah and izyan can't make it. So, last morning dolah said her sister is joining us, that makes a PERFECT answer to all of the question. I personally don't want to go out with A guy alone.NO! takut. We thought that we are going to watch REMEBER ME act by Robert Patt,well the reason that both of us wants to watch that movie because theres Robert Patt, but the movie was 18 and above.So dolah bought a ticket showed Valentines Day. So OK la. But it is so UNFAIR that dolah's sister got to watch Remember me. SAD2. The movie starts at 1345 hours, I reached at the cinema around 12, so there like 1 hour and 45 minutes before the movie starts. Dollah and I, walk around in the KLCC like around 4 times. Then,15 minutes before the movie starts, we went to the cinema and bought 2 set of popcorn ,1 each. We saw lots of ex-students around the cinema. After we got in. Sat down and the movie starts. The whole story was so so so so so so so AWESOME. Untill, i looked at my right, dolah's face was like asking a question > bile nak habis?< SO, starting from there the mood was like aiyoo =(.But what the hell, i came and i want to watch!Well , actually that time dolah got to do some business with his family so he is kinda of rush.[sebab tu la muka dia macam tadi.]After the movie ends, i met hariz and Syahir and Atikah. Dolah went back home as soon as he found her sister outside the cinema. Then , theres atikah hariz and syahir plus me. We sat and talk.Well make silly jokes, hariz's job of course. After atikah left, i went back home.
Just now, the story above was a synopsis about what is going on yesterday.
I went back home with a happy feeling after meeting ATIKAH! and the guys.
See you after 2 Months people!.
WAIT ! MAC! majlis anugerah cemerlang.!
OK , see you all THEN!

Is A Smile.

Is A Smile.
Tuesday
2 February 2010
1241 hours

Is A Smile.An act with a sincere heart.A smile can melted every single heart to a person.Whether it is on pain or just happy.A smile can translate a million of language.Even though you came from Africa or Haiti, a single SMILE can light up their faith and trust of keep going on.
The reason this blog is typed because there's a scene behind this fine screen.

I remember,
On the 22 January,
A farewell that I've never had,
All the photos that been shot,
Had showed A Smile,
A smile which i can't forget.

Here are some poems that I wrote specially made for my dear friends.

My friend,
We've been there,
Shoulder to shoulder,
Hand to hand.
Now where we are now,
A distance that we could not,
Bare to imagine how far we are,
BUT the things that made us,
Happy and remember each other,
Is a FRIENDSHIP that keeps,
Building up and keep going on.

Maybe this thought,
Are just thoughts,
But for me is a thought that,
It is specially made for you,
To remember the best part,
Of our life together,
And thank you for the,
SACRIFICES that you've made,
The LOVE and SUPPORT that,
YOU gave.

For those are now in boarding school, stay strong I know it is so hard.Trust me I'm in the same lane as you are.Just remember, for all sacrifices that you've made 30% of it are from your friends.So, when you feel tired and you stumble, I[friends] will always there to carry you. You'll never be alone.For those that are still staying in the same school, don't give up and study like there's no tomorrow ya!
Always LOVE you.